New Year. Same Story. Loneliness Persists

One more year of nothingness. One more day of waiting for things to just start happening. They say god helps those who help themselves and yet whenever I try to do something to change, nothing happens. Why does this happen to me.
Why is that the one thing that I want the most runs away from me.

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Quarantine Food Journal
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I learned cooking during quarantine out of necessity, now I do it as a hobby